Not a day for me!

How should I express out for today?
I want shout!
I want scream!
I need release all out!
今天如果小姑不告诉我这一切，我永远都被蒙在鼓里。
知道整件事情过后，我对我自己说，我永远都不会跟你相认！
很伤心！
很难过！
Just now, after you guys tell me about it.
I really don't know what should I say anymore.
Cause I'm the one who is not updated right now.
I really feel sad right now.
How I wish that I can stop the time and you guys will not let me know anything.
But I can't!
I hate myself!
Haix!
Can't control my heartbeat for tonight!
What's the matter going on?
Hate hate hate!!!