惊讶！+ Stuck in Making Decision!

今天回去学校。看见 Pn Hii！
表面上是说不想看见老师，可是心里却是想知道每一个现在过得好不好。
看见了 Pn Hii ，发现她老了许多。
跟去年比起来真的是差很远了。
到了办公室，看见许多的老师。
突然之间，感到很惊讶。
心里在问到：“为什么每一个老师都那么的憔悴了？”
尤其是看见 Ms Connie 时，她不只憔悴了。
突然发现，她的白发也多了许多。
Haiz！
今天回去的原因是因为要帮忙 check Annual Report 。
过后，就载 Freda 回家。
一路上，聊了许多东西。
还说到学校里的老师们呢！
她也发现最近的老师憔悴了许多。
还说到她的 mummy 。
她也说 mummy 最近老了很多。
可是不知道是为什么了。
真不敢想三年后回来看他们，他们会变成怎样了！
不过，不管怎样，还是那一句话 “一定要天天开心以及身体健康！”

Continue with another story.
Now! I'm stuck in making decision on going to which college!
Can I scold bad word first?
Shit! Damn it!
Now, continue.
I went for 2 interview.
One is KL Sime Darby Healthcare which is a self pay college.
Another one is Penang Adventist Hospital which is getting scholarship.
Problems come after those interview.
I was stuck in the middle of this 2 college.
First, Penang which is getting scholarship.
Dad ask me put open scholarship.
It simply means that if Penang Adventist Hospital don't sponsor me then I open for all the hospital in Penang to sponsor me.
But until now I'm still in the waiting list.
It is going to be May soon. Or should I say after 2 more days will be May?
I need to make a decision out by May on which college I would want to go.
But now in waiting list, what can I do?
HaizZz...
Hope I will get their call in this few days.
As for KL Sime Darby Healthcare, it is self pay.
So after I confirm to go into this college I need to pay the deposit of RM450.00.
But now stuck!
Penang didn't call up. So I can't simply enroll myself into KL.
How if Penang call me up in early of June and tell me that I got the scholarship?
And that time I already out my deposit in KL.
HaizZz...
It was a difficult decision.
Please give me some advice!
Really really need advice from all of you who saw this post.

A型双鱼座 ( 2月19日～3月20日 )

性格及气质
A型双鱼座的你，性 格上的特征是善解人意，心地仁慈，具有服务人群的精神。你只要看到别人有困难，必定会伸出手援助，即使因此爱到牵连，也绝不后悔，具有"人溺己溺，人饥己 饥"胸怀的你，愿意用自己的心去温暖大地，照顾弱者。这种伟大的情操，来自你的守护星海王星的影响，再加上A型本身具有服务精神，使你表现的风范，更让人 倾慕心仪。你的胸襟如同大海一般宽广，但也令人难以捉摸，而对你产生莫测高深的感觉。事实上，你除了给人善良、慈悲的印象之外，还有十足的神秘气氛。因为 你十分独特的想法，很让人摸不着边际，即使别人如何努力探索你的想法，还是无法理解。这是你仁慈的外表下，所隐藏的一面。你的感情起伏非常激烈，喜、怒、哀、乐的表现也明显。你感情细腻，待人之真诚，是其他星座的 人所不及的，然而这样的人也最容易受到伤害。因为在你付出真情之前，很少考虑到对方值不值得付出，值不值得同情。所以，你一旦发现自己热爱的对象，是个无 情无义的负心人，那么你所受的伤害及打击不是言语所能形容的了。你的另一个特征，就是"灵与肉"、"神圣与不洁"的双重性。一方面崇拜灵魂的圣洁，对崇高的事物容易感动，一方面又渴望"肉"的行动，对低俗的 事物也能有所感动，一心倾慕圣人的风范，一心又眩惑于小人所灌的迷汤，并且经常努力地把君子及小人放在同样的水平上来加以理解。由于这种双重性，使你的性 格愈发复杂，但是，基本上你仍然期待着平实的生活方式。因此，在现实的生活中，你不会沉迷在梦幻般的想象中。换言之，虽你虽有温柔的外表，但仍然隐藏了无 法当机立断的内向性格。如同沙漠中的绿洲，令人在精神上感到安定的你，也常遭遇到被人利用，发觉时已来不及的局面。但是，无论在什么状况下，你都不会感到 绝望，应付环境的能力超人一等。虽然承认各种事物都具有双重性，但身处其中，你却能运用丰富的想像力使它们连接起来，可说是既轻松又极自在。

忠告：做回你自己，必要时应拿出勇气及决心来。

爱与性的倾向
你的爱情，正如你性格上所显示，是一种如大海一般深不可测的爱情。你就像不知人间丑陋的天使一样，但也隐藏着可迷惑人生的恶魔特征。你在青纯的 灵魂与污秽的情欲之间徘徊着，而在不知不觉中，把身心都献给对方，属于亲身去体验对方悲伤及喜悦的人。尽管如此，你却绝不是一个玩世不恭的人。你的爱永远 是被动又认真的，在对方明白地表达对你的情意之前，你会把你思慕之情埋藏在心底，默默地有等待下去。A型双鱼座的你多半缺乏反抗四周环境的能力，以及勇敢向四周障碍挑战的勇气。因此，你一旦面临困境，柔弱的一面就随之出现，继而放弃了爱情的努 力。此外，你又因为具有不愿伤害别人的心理，所以无法抗拒对方的引诱及追求。因此，你必须特别注意，过分为别人着想，可能使你罗曼史不断，但最后却可能一 无所有。总之，与生俱来便能吸引异性的你，只要认请爱的真伪，适时表达感情，要掳获对方的感情，可说是易如反掌。你对爱及性的需求，就如同人对水及空气的需求一般，两者都是关系密切，缺少了哪一样都不能生存下去。只有在精神的欢愉与肉体的满足都兼得时，你 才感觉到爱的喜悦。因此，A型双鱼座的你，爱情犹如一首灵与肉的交响曲。敏锐的感受性也直接关系到性爱的愉悦，白天你是一位纯洁的天使，但当夜幕低垂，昏 黄的烛光及柔美的音乐衬托的气氛下，你和所爱的人便会尽情地享受爱的喜悦及性的刺激，全心全意追求性爱的最高境界，这是无法从白天有节制、冷静的你想像而 来的。然而，一向能自我控制的你，在达到爱的最高境界之后，往往会不知不觉中沉溺于性爱的浪潮中。虽然，你明知这是一条自我毁灭之路，但因你生性容易陶 醉，以致深隐其中，而无法自拔。因此，为了将来不致痛苦一生，在恋爱之初，你一定要客观地考虑清楚，免得日后陷的太深，受尽痛苦的折磨。

忠告：如果无法接受对方，则应在感情没深入之前向对方说明白。

婚姻及家庭
热情十足又易陷入各种爱情型态的你，在婚姻的历程上走得十分辛苦，可能会经历一连串没有结果的爱情，因而饱尝失恋的痛苦。你一旦找到情投意合的 对象结婚之后，就会全力以赴去做一个理想的丈夫或妻子，悲伤也好，欢乐也好，都希望能跟另一半分担，为搏得对方的喜爱及建立一个美满的家庭，无论任何事 情，你都会尽最大的努力。于是你不但饱尝了新婚燕尔的甜蜜，也会为了家庭而奉献自己。年轻时只有爱情，在一时冲动下的婚姻，大都不会有美满的结果。你应明 了一点，即家庭不仅是让人休息的场所，更是考验人性的地方，只有感情没有理智的婚姻，会使你很快便对理想及现实之间感到失望。但是，你经常怀抱着理想及乐 观的态度，并不因此而消沉，反而会把这些痛苦的经历视为一种充实自己的经验。因此，你最好不要急着结婚，才可能有美满的婚姻。总而言之，你最好在恋爱和婚 姻之间划清界限，否则一旦受到对方感情的牵制，过着没有主见的婚姻生活，必然会带来许多痛苦。因此，对此型的你来说，最好是多跟异性交往，待培养出识人的 眼光之后，再谈婚姻也不迟。如果你想在年轻时便建立家庭，则采取相亲的方式较为可靠。此型的女性，会是个善于处理家务的能干妻子，同时是孩子们心灵依靠的温柔母亲。刚结婚时，你对每天做三餐和各种家务的生活感到无趣，一心想做个 内外兼顾的职业妇女，但事实上，你仍缺乏积极的行动，结果还是只能呆在家里做个贤妻良母。而此型的男性，则喜欢妻子留在家里，把家里整理得有条有理，一尘 不染，照顾得很好，并一回家就能看见妻子亲切可爱的笑容，那才是最令他们满足的家庭生活。在性生活方面，你经常保持新鲜、快乐的心情，可是当另一半不象以前那么爱你，甚至背叛了你，你可能就会到外面寻求刺激企图刺激对方，最后弄得妻 离子散，家庭破裂，十分凄惨。而另一半如果能以诚相待，你的婚姻则会十分幸福、平静。

忠告：切莫因对方背叛了你就丧失理智，应先找出问题的病结所在，才不致毁了家庭幸福。

事业及成功
你如果想在社会中获得满足，最好的方法就是从事于可以充分发挥海王星所赋予的韵律感及美感的职业。而且，A型双鱼座的你，充满了梦幻情思，具有 不计得失，服务人民的博爱精神。如果能将你的天赋发挥出来，则不难成为自成一家的艺术家。此型的你，适合的工作有画家、小说家、诗人、音乐家、歌唱家、 等；此外，主导流行的职业，例如，美容师、服装设计师、模特儿等，也很适合你；若是具有敏锐的反应以及丰富的灵感，则当算命师或心理学者也极适合你。但是，在现实的激流中，你常身不由己地被冲离了原定方向，造成了变化多端的人生。如果你想顺利地循着原定路线前进，你的立足点稳定与否相当重 要，故应及早立定方向，寻找适合的工作，才能尽情发挥其专长，倾注全力去发展你的职业。如果你拥有自己喜爱的工作，在任何环境下都能有杰出的表现，而你为 理想奋斗的决心，相当令人钦佩，值得效仿。

忠告：成功的关键就是认定目标，奋勇向前。

金钱及财运
A型双鱼座的你，并没有得天独厚的好财运，加上你本身也缺乏赚钱的能力，因此发大财的机会可说是屈指可数。在日常生活中，你又喜欢抢着付钱，还 经常出自同情心而掏腰包救济别人的事情，以致金钱上经常感到匮乏，经济状况不是挺好。才能及直觉能力是你致富的秘诀。如果说你在经济上有所转机，大都得自 艺术活动的成就，由赞助者或欣赏者的热烈支持，使你的声望如日中天，身价扶摇直上，因而带来了良好的财运。你若是想要获得好财运，就必须让大家肯定你的才 华和风格，这是成功与否的关键所在。然而，你容易把自己关在梦幻的象牙塔中，陶醉在自我的天地里，这种与世隔绝的孤立作风，无疑是与财运背离。如果你想在人际关系上保持圆满的互相 关系，跟他人交流使你自己的魅力成为财运的桥梁，就必须活跃在社会上，把自己的才华发挥得淋漓尽致，让大家对你有深刻的认识。

忠告：不为金钱所束缚虽好，但切勿只顾别人，而忽略了自己。

寂寞？

今天在学校呆了一整天。要说无聊又不是！要说好玩也不是！可是，“寂寞”的心情却出现了！不知为何这“寂寞”的心情在那时候出现了。该怎么说才好呢？我自己也不知道！只是，在那时就觉得自己很寂寞！晚上，跟三位小姐在MSN里聊天！四个人都很轻松自在的把内心里想说的话都说出来了。一点都不用怕！哈哈！好喜欢这一种感觉！加油吧，三位！

1 Day of Duty & 4 Days of Working Days! @.@

Last week, I'm had my duty and working days at a Souvenirs Shop which is at Tun Abdul Razak Hall. This work is so exciting and fun. Actually I hope that I can have more time to work at there but Uncle says that: "Aunt Jessie is coming back on last Sunday." So I can't stay for long. But I was still happy that I can have the time to learn of how working is like.

Duty MSSS - 12 April 2010
Hmmm, today go Duty MSSS. But it is just only the rehearsal. In this rehearsal, many things to talk about. Like, many mistake still going on. Don't want comment too much on this.

First Day - 13 April 2010 (Tuesday)
Today Daddy use his school bus and I drive my MyVi to the place that I work. So in this morning I wake up very early. And this is an unusual things that I've done for so many months of holidays since I finish my SPM. Even though I need wake up early, I also need an alarm or daddy to wake me up. But for today, I set my biological alarm to 7am everyday. After I'm at the working place, I started to work. Before start working, first I sweep the floor then mop the floor. After that, I just sit at there and waiting for customer to come in and have a look in all the souvenirs and hoping that they would buy the souvenirs back to the country. In this day, nothing special happened actually. Just that, I met many many people which is came from different country. This is quite a good experience for me. Cause when they came in, they are not just only buy souvenirs but they are so curious about our history. And also, they did tell me many many things about their country too. And guess what, they like the weather in Kuching.

Second Day - 14 April 2010 (Wednesday)
Today still the same. After at the shop, first thing that should be done is sweep the floor and mop it. Today what can I say about it. There are no customer at all in the whole morning. Nothing to do is quite a boring things. Luckily I did bring story books to read. Afternoon, is a busy time for me. When there are customer then it is just like bees. What a boring and busy day!

Third Day - 15 April 2010 (Thursday)
Same things need to do. sweep and mop the floor. Morning no customer. Afternoon damn shit. So many customer. Make me feel so tired.

Fourth Day -16 April 2010 (Friday)
Today last day for me to work in here. Kinda sad for it. But what can I say! Hmmm, this day, saw a naughty boy in the shop. Making me so frustrating. But I can't get angry with him too. As his mom did buy many souvenirs. So whatever and whenever he do, I need follow him tightly.

Well, that's all for my story. And it can be say as a late story. ^^

Sushi King Bonanza (RM 2)

Last night, I had Sushi King Bonanza (RM2) with Miss Connie, CM, Catherine, Michelle and Victor. Haha. We ate so many sushi. It's quite fun for me. Because I haven't try for this kind of things at all. It is quite a good memory for me before I leave for study. After we had our Sushi at Hills Shopping Mall. We went for a walk one round in Hills Shopping Mall. Haha. at Ogawa Shop, it was a funny memory for me. Because there is the machine that help to keep us fit. When the salesman and salesgirl ask us whether we want to have a try? Then Victor just say: "Neh, ask CM to have a try." Haha. Laugh till die. After walking a round in Hills Shopping Mall then we go back. Then, bring CM go take her car. After that, go Hui Li's house take MBO Cinema Card. Then go to CM's house. But after a long decide, we decided to go to teacher's house. It was quite a funny decision. Cause we don't know where can we go as our time is limit. Because I need to be at home before 10pm. But last night I didn't back at 10pm too. Luckily I did persuade sister to wait. Haha. Lucky me. Yeah~~~

发现自己的妒忌心很重！

我该怎么办！我发现自己的妒忌心很重！为什么？为什么？为什么？为什么当你不来找我时，我心里就产生了妒忌？妒忌你现在和他人在一起！感觉很不好受！有时，我也觉得自己有过分的自私在于你！我想要你每时每刻都想着我！每时每刻都必须与我聊天！我该怎样改掉我的妒忌与自私？谁可以告诉我？

真的很不懂！

真的很不懂你！明明是自己错在先，为什么却把样样事情都责怪在他人的身上？有时，我恨不得想离开这个痛苦的地方！但是，回头想想，我并不是最痛苦的那一位！所以，我根本就没有资格说要离开！有时，我很想要狠狠的把你给骂一顿！可是，骂了你会听吗？之前，妈妈在世时，你也是这样！东西是自己的却不要收起来！妈妈帮你收了，你一句“谢谢”也没有！反而，当你要用到的时候，你就大声的喊我们！还把全部人给臭骂了一顿！你就是这样！永远都是你对，我们永远都是错的！今天，同样的毛病你又再次的发作了！钮扣找部到就直接骂了婆婆一顿！问也不问！拜托你一下！婆婆好心把你的钮扣放在桌子上面，是你自己把桌子弄得乱七八糟也不整理所以才找不到的！不要骂婆婆！你那一句“明知道我的桌上很乱！为什么还要放在我的桌上？”每个人听了都会觉得伤心的好不好！我们是你的家人啊！不是你的佣人了！你不要动不动就骂我们！吃完饭，盘子你不洗我们帮你洗！喝完水，杯子你不洗我们也帮你洗！家里的家务你都不要做，我们也帮你做了！你可不可以对我们好一点？我们的要求不是很过分吧？都不知道我们全部人是不是上辈子欠了你的！在这一生，都要受到这种的痛苦！弟弟和我其实都很不爽你！你的态度实在是令人觉得很讨厌！爸爸讲你几句，你就说他不疼爱你，只疼爱我跟弟弟！但是，你有没有想过，你要手机爸爸就说：“好！我买给你！”。他连反抗都没有了！我跟弟弟也睁一只眼，闭一只眼了！当作什么事情都没有发生！婆婆每次关心你，问道：“功课作完了没？”。你就说她很烦！她是你的长辈啊！请你尊重她！

Can't breathe in a normal way these few days?

It's not quite fun to having the breathing problem. Too much things being put on me. Can't breathe! Push too fast heartbeat will go fast too. Even night time will have insomnia or should i say even worse will have scary nightmare? What the hell is going on with me? Haiz... Stop right now! I need force myself to go for sleep!

Changing of perspectives?!

I was just thinking of what is it going to be like if a guy can change his perspectives of mind? For example, doing the job which is usually done by ladies like Nurses, Teachers and etc. If all this jobs, guys also manage to do it then will all the ladies going to become jobless? I think the answer will be a YES! Definitely will! Actually this kind of thoughts have been in my mind for quite a few days already. That day when I went for Sime Darby Helathcare Seminar the guy was just saying this. And it makes me feel that he is right actually. If a guy is willing to become a Nurse in 1 day then ladies is going to stay at home! There will be no more job for ladies in this world. But will all the guys change their perspectives of thinking? This was what I was wandering for these few days. Hope that I will have an answer very soon.

请不要伤害那些外表开心的人！

刚刚念了一篇文章让我觉得很有意思，所以想把他写在这里让大家念一念！

总有一些人，他们看上去整天都很开心，嘻嘻哈哈的，没有烦恼，像个小孩，他们会说玩是我最大的乐趣，我很喜欢玩，我什么都会。玩人多的时候，他们脸上总挂着笑容，好多人都会羡慕他们，然而这其实是他们最悲哀的时候，他们不想让别人看到自己难过的一面，更没有能力一个人独处，因为当深夜人静的时候，他也不知道一个人会发生什么事，坐在窗前冥想走过的点滴，没有人读的懂他们，想着想着貌似快乐的他们就会黯然流下一脸的悲伤，然后自己对自己说：“其实也没什么，命运吧！所以他们整天逼自己笑，以此来逃避那些常人所不能承受的痛苦！”他们貌似很坚强，因为在别人看来，他们什么事都能笑着去面对，但事实上他们长着世界上最脆弱的心灵，只是长期的伪装使得别人很难发现他们内心深处的创伤。他们其实非常孤独，虽然看到他们时都是在跟一群人谈天说地，那是因为他们不能承受一个人时的折磨！他们只想简简单单、快快了了的活着，期待并且相信每个人给的笑容都是真心的，希望身边的人都是真正的喜欢自己。即使别人小小的意见，也会令他们难过好久，他们真的真的好介意，介意自己不被人喜欢。因为，他们总是为别人想的很多，对别人总是比对自己好；把能对喜欢的人当作幸福，喜欢别人比喜欢自己多。他们总是那样，前一秒还伤心流泪，后一秒出现在朋友面前的时候，已经满脸溢着灿烂的笑容。有人说他们是向日葵，是的，他们在意的人就像太阳，在面对太阳的时候永远是明艳的花瓣，而太阳照不到的背面，那悲伤藏得那么好，不愿被看见。他们向往放纵自由的生活，却必须为了谁很努力的朝另外的一个方向活着，很累很累，却仍是心甘情愿。离自己的梦境越来越远，不得不面对从未想过的争夺和复杂，恐慌、不知所措。只有面对最信赖的人时，才会卸下盔甲，委屈的流下眼泪。因为在他们心里，笑就是开心，哭就是难过，接着就是喜欢，远离就是讨厌。但其实不是，他们明白了，心好伤，眼泪就没忍住。哭过之后，笑笑得擦干眼泪，说：“没关系，我可以做的很好的。”他们好像无所不能，好像总是不会有烦恼，好像什么问题都能轻而易举的解决，总是喜欢喜欢出现在流泪的人面前，笑嘻嘻的逗着笑。而面对自己的问题，他们却茫然无措，面对自己的悲伤，他们只会躲在人们看不见的角落慢慢由伤口越裂越大。他们的想法非常简单，说出来的就是心里所想的，肚子里不会拐七道八道的小弯，无心的话可能引起别人的误解。所以，请别记恨他们，他们从不愿伤害谁，小小的错误就能让他们懊悔很久。他们其实非常单纯，甚至你曾经给了他一个微笑他也会一辈子记得你的好，因此他们的世界观其实也很简单，他们很容易受诱惑，请不要轻易伤害他们的感情，因为一旦伤害了，那就将永远弥补不回来！如果你身边有这种人请给予他（她）哪怕是凤毛麟角的那点关怀，让他（她）知道这个世界没有抛弃他们。。。如果你的身边有这么一个人！请不要伤害他（她）们！因为他们并不坚强。。。。。。

当我看完了这篇文章，我很感动。我的生活内心里就如同这篇文章一样！快乐的背面里，总是那么无助。。。所以，请不要伤害那些外表开心的人！

Tired @.@

I'm so tired! This morning wake up very early! Cause going for interview. Today went for 2 places. City University College of Science & Technology and Sime Darby Healthcare! For City University College, overall I think is ok only. Not much to say about it. For Sime Darby Healthcare, after fill in the form and all that talk they gave us. Daddy was asking how about just go there. So I just say, it's ok for me. Later he say again, or maybe we decide after going Adventist College of Nursing & KPJ College interview. Haha. So I say, ok for me again. Hehe! I just don't know how to make decision. Later on the road back to home, daddy ask, girl, how about your laptop. I just say, if buy a new one sure will be change when come home. I never get a chance to use on new things usually. So he say, now you need use it for your studies so I will buy for you. I didn't answer anything to him for that moment. Noon time back home, grandma say she wanted to go aunt's house gambling. So I bring her go. Come back bring my brother go cut his hair. But before that, he want me to bring him go for KFC! So my pocket money for this month is going to finish soon. Lol. Just started the month of April and my money already wanna finish??? How can it be? Looks like I need to save money from now on. Today anything happy event going on? Hmmm... Let me think! Umm, brother did say when I graduate he will ask daddy but a Winnie the Pooh for me which is wearing the square academic cap. Hahaha! I'm going to like it very much! Waiting for that time to come!

Thank You Guys!

Yesterday was my Chinese Birthday! Actually I didn't realize about it until last night I chat with Miss Connie then I just check for it! At first, I thought Michelle wants to play April Fool game with me! As you know, friends sometimes will be playful too! Haha! But this was real! So we have our dinner at Chef at Home at Hui Sing Lorong 5. I had Spagetti and it was really quite full for me! Later on, have a birthday cake. I was just "Wow!". And guess what, now is my turn to take the candles out from the cake. After I take it out my face was full with icing! Haha! I love my birthday present very much! All my present is a cartoon of Winnie The Pooh! Thank you very much! Hahaha! I really have a wonderful 18th Birthday with you all! Umm, I maybe can't so fast upload photo of my birthday present. So you guys need wait patiently! Haha! Once again, thank you! Muacks!