发现自己的妒忌心很重！

我该怎么办！我发现自己的妒忌心很重！为什么？为什么？为什么？为什么当你不来找我时，我心里就产生了妒忌？妒忌你现在和他人在一起！感觉很不好受！有时，我也觉得自己有过分的自私在于你！我想要你每时每刻都想着我！每时每刻都必须与我聊天！我该怎样改掉我的妒忌与自私？谁可以告诉我？

真的很不懂！

真的很不懂你！明明是自己错在先，为什么却把样样事情都责怪在他人的身上？有时，我恨不得想离开这个痛苦的地方！但是，回头想想，我并不是最痛苦的那一位！所以，我根本就没有资格说要离开！有时，我很想要狠狠的把你给骂一顿！可是，骂了你会听吗？之前，妈妈在世时，你也是这样！东西是自己的却不要收起来！妈妈帮你收了，你一句“谢谢”也没有！反而，当你要用到的时候，你就大声的喊我们！还把全部人给臭骂了一顿！你就是这样！永远都是你对，我们永远都是错的！今天，同样的毛病你又再次的发作了！钮扣找部到就直接骂了婆婆一顿！问也不问！拜托你一下！婆婆好心把你的钮扣放在桌子上面，是你自己把桌子弄得乱七八糟也不整理所以才找不到的！不要骂婆婆！你那一句“明知道我的桌上很乱！为什么还要放在我的桌上？”每个人听了都会觉得伤心的好不好！我们是你的家人啊！不是你的佣人了！你不要动不动就骂我们！吃完饭，盘子你不洗我们帮你洗！喝完水，杯子你不洗我们也帮你洗！家里的家务你都不要做，我们也帮你做了！你可不可以对我们好一点？我们的要求不是很过分吧？都不知道我们全部人是不是上辈子欠了你的！在这一生，都要受到这种的痛苦！弟弟和我其实都很不爽你！你的态度实在是令人觉得很讨厌！爸爸讲你几句，你就说他不疼爱你，只疼爱我跟弟弟！但是，你有没有想过，你要手机爸爸就说：“好！我买给你！”。他连反抗都没有了！我跟弟弟也睁一只眼，闭一只眼了！当作什么事情都没有发生！婆婆每次关心你，问道：“功课作完了没？”。你就说她很烦！她是你的长辈啊！请你尊重她！

Can't breathe in a normal way these few days?

It's not quite fun to having the breathing problem. Too much things being put on me. Can't breathe! Push too fast heartbeat will go fast too. Even night time will have insomnia or should i say even worse will have scary nightmare? What the hell is going on with me? Haiz... Stop right now! I need force myself to go for sleep!

Changing of perspectives?!

I was just thinking of what is it going to be like if a guy can change his perspectives of mind? For example, doing the job which is usually done by ladies like Nurses, Teachers and etc. If all this jobs, guys also manage to do it then will all the ladies going to become jobless? I think the answer will be a YES! Definitely will! Actually this kind of thoughts have been in my mind for quite a few days already. That day when I went for Sime Darby Helathcare Seminar the guy was just saying this. And it makes me feel that he is right actually. If a guy is willing to become a Nurse in 1 day then ladies is going to stay at home! There will be no more job for ladies in this world. But will all the guys change their perspectives of thinking? This was what I was wandering for these few days. Hope that I will have an answer very soon.

请不要伤害那些外表开心的人！

刚刚念了一篇文章让我觉得很有意思，所以想把他写在这里让大家念一念！

总有一些人，他们看上去整天都很开心，嘻嘻哈哈的，没有烦恼，像个小孩，他们会说玩是我最大的乐趣，我很喜欢玩，我什么都会。玩人多的时候，他们脸上总挂着笑容，好多人都会羡慕他们，然而这其实是他们最悲哀的时候，他们不想让别人看到自己难过的一面，更没有能力一个人独处，因为当深夜人静的时候，他也不知道一个人会发生什么事，坐在窗前冥想走过的点滴，没有人读的懂他们，想着想着貌似快乐的他们就会黯然流下一脸的悲伤，然后自己对自己说：“其实也没什么，命运吧！所以他们整天逼自己笑，以此来逃避那些常人所不能承受的痛苦！”他们貌似很坚强，因为在别人看来，他们什么事都能笑着去面对，但事实上他们长着世界上最脆弱的心灵，只是长期的伪装使得别人很难发现他们内心深处的创伤。他们其实非常孤独，虽然看到他们时都是在跟一群人谈天说地，那是因为他们不能承受一个人时的折磨！他们只想简简单单、快快了了的活着，期待并且相信每个人给的笑容都是真心的，希望身边的人都是真正的喜欢自己。即使别人小小的意见，也会令他们难过好久，他们真的真的好介意，介意自己不被人喜欢。因为，他们总是为别人想的很多，对别人总是比对自己好；把能对喜欢的人当作幸福，喜欢别人比喜欢自己多。他们总是那样，前一秒还伤心流泪，后一秒出现在朋友面前的时候，已经满脸溢着灿烂的笑容。有人说他们是向日葵，是的，他们在意的人就像太阳，在面对太阳的时候永远是明艳的花瓣，而太阳照不到的背面，那悲伤藏得那么好，不愿被看见。他们向往放纵自由的生活，却必须为了谁很努力的朝另外的一个方向活着，很累很累，却仍是心甘情愿。离自己的梦境越来越远，不得不面对从未想过的争夺和复杂，恐慌、不知所措。只有面对最信赖的人时，才会卸下盔甲，委屈的流下眼泪。因为在他们心里，笑就是开心，哭就是难过，接着就是喜欢，远离就是讨厌。但其实不是，他们明白了，心好伤，眼泪就没忍住。哭过之后，笑笑得擦干眼泪，说：“没关系，我可以做的很好的。”他们好像无所不能，好像总是不会有烦恼，好像什么问题都能轻而易举的解决，总是喜欢喜欢出现在流泪的人面前，笑嘻嘻的逗着笑。而面对自己的问题，他们却茫然无措，面对自己的悲伤，他们只会躲在人们看不见的角落慢慢由伤口越裂越大。他们的想法非常简单，说出来的就是心里所想的，肚子里不会拐七道八道的小弯，无心的话可能引起别人的误解。所以，请别记恨他们，他们从不愿伤害谁，小小的错误就能让他们懊悔很久。他们其实非常单纯，甚至你曾经给了他一个微笑他也会一辈子记得你的好，因此他们的世界观其实也很简单，他们很容易受诱惑，请不要轻易伤害他们的感情，因为一旦伤害了，那就将永远弥补不回来！如果你身边有这种人请给予他（她）哪怕是凤毛麟角的那点关怀，让他（她）知道这个世界没有抛弃他们。。。如果你的身边有这么一个人！请不要伤害他（她）们！因为他们并不坚强。。。。。。

当我看完了这篇文章，我很感动。我的生活内心里就如同这篇文章一样！快乐的背面里，总是那么无助。。。所以，请不要伤害那些外表开心的人！

Tired @.@

I'm so tired! This morning wake up very early! Cause going for interview. Today went for 2 places. City University College of Science & Technology and Sime Darby Healthcare! For City University College, overall I think is ok only. Not much to say about it. For Sime Darby Healthcare, after fill in the form and all that talk they gave us. Daddy was asking how about just go there. So I just say, it's ok for me. Later he say again, or maybe we decide after going Adventist College of Nursing & KPJ College interview. Haha. So I say, ok for me again. Hehe! I just don't know how to make decision. Later on the road back to home, daddy ask, girl, how about your laptop. I just say, if buy a new one sure will be change when come home. I never get a chance to use on new things usually. So he say, now you need use it for your studies so I will buy for you. I didn't answer anything to him for that moment. Noon time back home, grandma say she wanted to go aunt's house gambling. So I bring her go. Come back bring my brother go cut his hair. But before that, he want me to bring him go for KFC! So my pocket money for this month is going to finish soon. Lol. Just started the month of April and my money already wanna finish??? How can it be? Looks like I need to save money from now on. Today anything happy event going on? Hmmm... Let me think! Umm, brother did say when I graduate he will ask daddy but a Winnie the Pooh for me which is wearing the square academic cap. Hahaha! I'm going to like it very much! Waiting for that time to come!

Thank You Guys!

Yesterday was my Chinese Birthday! Actually I didn't realize about it until last night I chat with Miss Connie then I just check for it! At first, I thought Michelle wants to play April Fool game with me! As you know, friends sometimes will be playful too! Haha! But this was real! So we have our dinner at Chef at Home at Hui Sing Lorong 5. I had Spagetti and it was really quite full for me! Later on, have a birthday cake. I was just "Wow!". And guess what, now is my turn to take the candles out from the cake. After I take it out my face was full with icing! Haha! I love my birthday present very much! All my present is a cartoon of Winnie The Pooh! Thank you very much! Hahaha! I really have a wonderful 18th Birthday with you all! Umm, I maybe can't so fast upload photo of my birthday present. So you guys need wait patiently! Haha! Once again, thank you! Muacks!